Will the REAL Audio Adrenaline please stand up?

So, it’s been seven months since I last wrote something.  And while I’m prone to spend the majority of this post ranting about a specific topic, I feel like it’s a downer to start the post that way.  So, in light of starting off upbeat – I can at least start out with a general (sort of) midyear update.
As for the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year…yeah, I wasn’t all that confident that I’d complete them all, to be honest.

On the positive side of things, I HAVE kept up a list of books read this year – if you’ve managed to keep up with the added page to my blog.  And as soon as I find the motivation, I believe I will endeavor to create a new blog strictly devoted to book reviews and author information.  As much as I love books, I feel it’s my duty as a reader to share…

after all – it’s reading that’s kept me away from writing.  At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
I’d like to think I’d try to stick with my writing goal and finish my novel in the next three and  half months…but I’m not going to rush it.  I haven’t even opened a semi-completed chapter in several months, let alone try to write a new one.  And I’m too proud of what I’ve got to finish it in a rush.  I still believe in this story…that it can be told well…and eventually get published.

Maybe next year.

As for the whole job thing…and the moving out of my parent’s house thing…
hasn’t happened yet.  But I’m actually moving up in my current job – being given more responsibilities (but not getting paid for them…)
and I think I’m starting grad school in January.  Assuming I get accepted into the program.

So, meet the new band…Audio Adrenaline – the topic set to consume the rest of my post.
Now…those of you that have known me…I’ve been an Adrenaline Junkie for most of my adolescent and adult life.  There wasn’t another band I’d travel hours to see in concert, and work so hard to meet after!  I took Will McGinniss (bassist) a shopping bag full of Starburst once…and completely geeked out when I got the chance to give them to him and he hugged me.  You have no idea.
In an e-mail sent out via FreeCCM.com (Contemporary Christian Music) this afternoon, I found out that Audio Adrenaline is getting back together.  Commence geekfest!!
But tell me…does the band in the above picture look anything like Audio Adrenaline (pictured below)?

Never mind the new sound that’s bound to ensue with the introduction of a new lead singer – Kevin Max (of former DC Talk fame) – and new drummer and guitarists…but to give this new band the same name as the band I love…it’s a little maddening.
Who can forget their heart for missions, and the heart for church kids these guys had.  It’s part of what pulled me into youth ministry.   It was their music that helped guide me through college and expand my mindset of missions and ministry.

I don’t deny this new Audio Adrenaline will be great – with the former guitarist from SuperChick and the return of bassist Will McGinniss – but does ONE returning band member constitute holding onto the namesake of a visually different band?  Sure, Mark Stuart will still play a part in the background of the band…writing songs and whatnot
but starting out on a new label, with new front-men…It kind of irks me that they’re sticking with the name.
But here’s the thing…even when Audio presumably hung up their instruments (guitarist Tyler Burkum moving on to other musical ventures, and drummer Ben Cissell moving on to other ministries) Mark Stuart and Will continued to raise awareness for the bands mission in Haiti – The Hands and Feet Project – under a different name – Know Hope Collective.
So, why they would now continue under this name is baffling…

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m excited to see Mark and Will continuing the mission!  I’m excited for new music…I always am.
But the more I kept thinking about this tonight…the more it just felt…odd…and a bit of a letdown.  Together…there was just something special about them – Stuart, McGinniss, Burkum, and Cissell – and now…it just doesn’t feel right to me.

But…

that doesn’t mean I won’t be on iTunes with my credit card the day the album comes out!

A Year with Aslan: February 6 – Narnia, Awake!

The Lion, whose eyes never blinked, stared at the animals as hard as if he was going to burn them up with his mere stare.  And gradually a change came over them.  The smaller ones – the rabbits, moles, and such-like – grew a good deal larger.  The very big ones – you noticed it most with the elephants – grew a little smaller.  Many animals sat up on their hind legs.  Most put their heads on one side as if they were trying very hard to understand.  The Lion opened his mouth, but no sound came from it; he was breathing out, a long, warm breath; it seemed to sway all the beasts as the wind sways a line of trees.  Far overhead from beyond the veil of blue sky which hid them the stars sang again; a pur, cold, difficult music.  Then there cam a swift flash like fire (but it burnt nobody) either from the sky or from the Lion itself, and every drop of blood tingled in the children’s bodies, and the deepest, wildest voice they had ever heard was saying:
“Narnia, Narnia, Narnia, awake.  Love.  Think.  Speak.  Be walking trees.  Be talking beasts.  Be divine waters.”

I can’t begin to imagine the awe and wonder felt at the beginning of all things in Narnia – to witness the birth of everything from nothing.

I feel like I’m on the verge of an awakening – too long I’ve felt my soul has been in perpetual darkness…sleeping…dormant.  And all I want is to feel alive – to feel the awe and wonder felt at the beginning of Narnia.  To feel my blood bubble with excitement.
I want to know I’m living for something…that I’m being Jesus to people around me, yes – but that I’m also experiencing Jesus.

And it makes me sad watching the crumbling of the world around me.  Because, where can joy be when if seems that everything is falling apart?
People are hurting, morals are lost, hope is hard to find…
And it seems it’s all I see – all I feel…

And part of me wonders – where is Jesus?
Because, more and more I feel like Peter Pevensie in Prince Caspian waiting for a savior that doesn’t seem to be coming.  And I HATE that feeling…like it’s up to me to change things…because these problems seem too big…I can’t do it on my own.

I want to feel an awakening…the breath of life blowing over me…the warmth of a soul renewed.  It seems like such a simple prayer, but for so long, it seems – it’s been the cry of my broken spirit…the cry of my heart.

In our hearts, Lord, In this Nation
Awakening
Holy Spirit, we desire 
Awakening.

For You and You alone
Awake my soul
Awake my soul, and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done
Let Your will be done in me

In Your presence, in Your power
Awakening
For this moment, for this hour
Awakening

For You and You alone
Awake my soul
Awake my soul, and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done
Let Your will be done in me

For You and You alone
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done, let Your will be done in me

Like the rising sun that shines
From the darkness comes a light
I hear Your voice and this is my Awakening

Only You can raise a life
Awake my soul
Awake my soul, and sing

 

Who Will Love Me for Me

There’s not much in life that I want more than to get married one day – to fall in love and have someone fall in love with me. 

And I have to admit, I’m kind of scared – a lot of scared – that it won’t happen…that it’s not in the cards for me.  And it’s the one thought that, if I linger on for too long, could really make me cry from heart ache.

Granted, I’ve never been one to really “put myself out there.”  I don’t dress myself up in dresses.  I don’t curl my hair.  I don’t wear makeup.
And I’ve never been, what I consider, in shape or pretty- even if I did dress myself up, curl my hair, and put on makeup.

But, I have to think – despite all that…I’m a loveable girl.
I love to laugh.  I love movies, books, and I can even manage my way around most sports.  I figure I’m an ideal catch for somebody.

But there’s a voice inside my head that keeps telling me…i’m not worth it…it’ll never happen.
And it hurts…hearing that all the time, revurberating in my head – but for the life of me, I can’t get it out.  Regardless of what people tell me, family, friends – I hear the words: “it’ll happen,”  “you’ll find someone…” – but they’re hard to believe.

I guess what’s got me on this oh-so-cheerful topic tonight – I’ve been listening to JJ Heller on repeat for the past 24 hours.  One song…and it makes me want to cry.  It’s so beautiful it hurts.

Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done
or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause no body has shown me what love really means

You know, I’ve always had this list of “wants” in a husband….a picture of what my husband would look like.
Christian…brown hair…blue eyes….tall…musical….literary….a certain style about him…
But more than anything, I want a guy that can love ME – that can love my imperfect body…my tendencies to be emotional…and sometimes lazy.  My increasing tendencies to be a bit wacky and exciteable over “silly” things – ie books being made into movies….
I want someone who will allow me to be the person I am, and not expect me to fit into some mold…because everyone knows I’ve never really done that.

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done
or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love that you never knew

The State of Worship pt.3

While Chris Tomlin’s concert has stuck with me this week, my mind and heart have been churning, not over the lyrics of the songs, but over the words he said in between the songs.
In my last post I relayed what he said about worship – active worship – get up and move worship!

That type of worship is exciting…is happy….is…active…

What Chris went on to say (about worship) is really what’s got my heart working overtime – not ALL worship is active.

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  Psalm 46:9-11

[ Stand in Awe of God ] Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong.  Ecclesiastes 5:1-3

Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God. Ecclesiastes 5:6-8

I’ve never really thought about it, that standing still…that sitting in the quiet and just basking in the glory that is God IS worship.

I’ve tried sitting in the quiet, willing myself to stop, willing my mind to stop and just take in the quiet, take in whatever God gives me. 
It’s not easy.  And the past few nights, I’ve looked at the moon – the brightness of its glow, the clearness of the sky – and I’ve thought of nothing else but standing in awe of God’s creation.  Sometimes it’s all I can do.

God doesn’t always ask songs of us.  God doesn’t always ask for hands lifted up – for eloquent words to be spoken – for flags to be waved.  Sometimes God’s just happy with our stillness…our wonder…our awe.

The State of Worship pt.2

*Favorite musician alert*
Chris Tomlin is probably the world’s best-known worship leader – and for good reason.  He’s written dozens of songs that are staples to worship services across the country.  It was pretty evident tonight, the love the Church has for this guy!!

But something more evident – the love the Church has for God…for worship….for True worship.

I experienced something tonight that I haven’t experienced in….at least a year…maybe longer.  I’m not sure what song it was…maybe Jesus Messiah (it would make sense) or maybe Our God is Greater– but there was this sense that something was…happening.  Standing there, the drums pounding in my chest, the floor shaking with the dancing of people…I was washed in a breeze…a shiver traveled up and down my spine – and I couldn’t help but smile.

It had to be the Holy Spirit – because, for the rest of the service….I felt free.  I felt the world melt away  – and I witnessed a party that can only be a preview of what it’s going to be like in Heaven!

Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy.  Psalm 47:1-3
Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy. Psalm 33:2-4
I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands 1 Timothy 2:7

There is freedom to be had in worship – a freedom I rarely let myself experience.
And I can’t help but hear – over and over – Chris’ message tonight – Put down your rock, put down your burden, and lift up holy hands.  You don’t have to carry the weight any more, Christ has already carried it for you.

Where else can you find freedom like that? 
Because in true worship – freedom is experienced to the fullest – and God is glorified to the fullest!!

The State of Worship

I’ve rediscovered the addictiveness that is Twitter – and have taken to checking the website almost constantly.  I was on it for most of the afternoon yesterday, and over an hour last night – responding to tweets, reading others…
It’s remarkably fun and, as proven to be last night, spiritually and intellectually stimulating.

*Favorite musician alert* Robbie Seay posted three questions last night concerning worship, the music the church uses, the music created for worship (past and present and future), and how it’s all taken in.  And it really started me thinking…because as often as God can use creativity to His advantage, sometimes…I think…maybe real worship gets lost in the creative process.

1. Does the church seem to value replication & performance in its music over imagination & honesty in songwriting -unique to each community?

I don’t know that I can speak for the church as a whole – I’m not sure, even, if the sampling of church experiences I have is adequate to make a valid judgement on what type of worship is valued or preferred.  I’ve attended worship in the Methodist, Presbyterian, Nazarene, Christian, Baptist, and non-denominational churches.  In almost every instance, at least one hymn has been sung within the worship service (given the Methodist and Presbyterian traditions, they’re mostly all hymns).  And…given that many hymns are sung to tunes from pubs back in the day…I’d love to hear what the early church would’ve said about valuing imagination and honesty in their worship.
What’s interesting to me, this past Sunday I attended worship at a local Christian church.  It was like attending worship in the 80’s given the songs they chose to sing.  I didn’t know three of the four songs they sang.  When I asked my friend why they didn’t sing Chris Tomlin songs, or David Crowder songs, she responded that they just don’t.  I mean, I know Chris Tomlin and Crowder – they’re stuff is played all the time at the Christian church I attended in college. 

And while we wouldn’t have these new songs without imagination and creativity and honesty – I’m wondering what type of worship really allows me to open up the most.  The Christian church I attended in college was very much into performance – lights, big screens, etc – but it spoke to the congregation – and many times I found myself opening up in ways I don’t typically – closing my eyes, lifting my hands, etc. 
I don’t know that performance necessarily takes away from honesty – though, I see where it can. 

When I attending the Connect Conference a few years ago, it was the first time I hear Robbie Seay perform songs from Give Yourself Away.  So often, when new songs are introduced in worship, I’m more focused on following a melody, of learning the flow of the song than I am on the meaning of the words.  It’s only when I really hear a song, learn the words, learn the melody, that I really FEEL the song, and let go to freely sing.
Last Sunday, with the songs from 4 decades ago, I had no idea what they were, and can’t even begin to go into what the words or sentiments of the songs were.

When a friend got up to do the special music, singing How Great Thou Art and How Great is Our God (Chris Tomlin) – only then did I really sing and freely worship.

And seriously – with respect to performance – I’m all for someone freely expressing their love for God in song – and I totally agree with the thought that God doesn’t hear the missed notes, doesn’t hear the cracked voice – God hears the heart…
But, really – can performance be ignored??
I mean, most worship leaders (all worship leaders I know, really) are gifted and blessed musically. 

I think it comes as a full package – true worship – HONEST worship begins with creativity and imagination – is brought together in performance as people feel comfortable with the music and can worship freely.

2. Can creativity in music & art within the church overshadow the gospel and true worship? Should creativity have boundaries in the church?

Sure, creativity can overshadow the gospel – in music, in art, in teaching…
The Gospel is the one TRUE tool we have in spreading the news of Christ.  If guitar solos, lighting effects, and unintelligible lyrics are the only thing one notices – where can worship really begin?

I’m all for creativity – especially when trying to teach a room of teenagers.  I’m all for the next best thing to grab their attention, to get them to pay attention – movie clips, music videos, games…you name it, I’ve tried it in youth ministry.  But, what’s the use if the Gospel gets ignored?

Creativity doesn’t always hurt worship.  I think it’s an individual situation.  I miss worshipping at my church from college.  I miss the atmosphere, the music…the way I felt alive.
And as much as I loved worshipping there, I’ve heard just as many people talk about the “production” of it all – what’s the point?
The people who complain about it…they don’t go.  They find a place where THEY can worship…and that’s great!  I think it’s a pretty simple solution to a (sometimes) trivial controversy among worshippers.

3. Are worship leaders under such pressure to perform & be excellent that they often end up void of creativity & depth in their writing?

Hard to say – not being a worship leader.  If there’s that much pressure to perform and be excellent – then shame on the church.  Priorities, I’ve come to the conclusion, need to shift back to where they were in Acts.  When did worship become such a controversial topic?
What does it really matter WHAT songs we sing, as long as the words are words of Truth and challenge people to draw closer to God??

The great thing about worship in this country – there’s enough variety so that, anyone that wants to be fed can be. 
If worship leaders feel the pressure to “perform” it’s time for them to address that with the church body…with the pastor…with themselves.

I’ve heard people comment that they can’t worship with guitar music, or with a pipe organ, or drums, or whatever…
Worship isn’t the state of the music….it’s the state of the person’s heart…and when we can all realize that…REALLY grab hold of that…the rest will fall away.

Jesus, Keep my heart alive!

I feel myself getting worn down…breaking down…again…and it’s kind of freakin’ me out.

I don’t think I really realized how low I was really getting until the other night – during one of those driving-while-listening-to-music moments that tend to turn into so much in my life. 
When I listen to music, I tend to hover around one group for a while – soaking in their music, grabbing onto it and wringing out everything I can.  Lately that group has been Sanctus Real.  Nevermind the fact that their latest album is pretty much genius; I seem to be finding my life sung back to me with each new song.

As with most blogs I write, I’ve yet again been turned away from another job/ministry opportunity.  After three interviews with this church, I’ve been told, again, that I’m not the right fit.
It’s been over a year and a half, now, that I’ve been seeking full-time employment – that I’ve been banged over the head with that comment – I’m not the right fit.

All the while, I’m living at home, I’m dealing with family stress from all sides, and I’m crumbling.

My faith is beginning to….stretch a little thin – and it’s scary.
I actually had to MAKE myself get up and go to church on Sunday – and even at that, I couldn’t make myself sing.  I’m struggling with frustrations toward God, and through it all…I’m beginning to feel dead inside…at least spiritually speaking.  I’m tired.  I feel like I’m doing all I can, but there’s nothing there.  I feel like I’m pleading for something I’m never going to get, something that maybe was never really mine to ask for in the beginning.

But, all I want now, all I can ask for now is to feel alive again – to wake up and feel the joy I used to feel.

I’m so tired of politics and all this bad news
I’m so tired of chasing the moment instead of chasing You
I let the World wear me down, I’m desensitized

Jesus keep my heart alive, keep my heart alive
Only You can save me from a world that’s breaking right before my eyes
Keep my heart alive

Take these empty hallelujahs, and fill my lungs again
‘Cause I want to sing, and I want to mean it
I want to feel again
And let the world hear the sound of something divine

Jesus keep my heart alive, Keep my heart alive

Only You can save me when my world is breaking right before my eyes

Jesus keep my heart alive, Keep my heart alive
Only You can save me when my hope is fading, and I’m losing the fight

And when the world wears me down,
You’re my lifeline
You keep my heart alive
Keep My Heart Alive – Sanctus Real

 

//

And the winner is….

So, I recently purchased Sanctus Real’s new album, Pieces of a Real Heart.  I wrote a review for the album (awesome album, by the way)!  And my review won a contest the band was sponsoring!

Just kind of funny!

But as I’m always up for promoting new music – I’ll post my “winning” review and encourage you to buy this amazing album!!!

Aptly titled, Pieces of a Real Heart is a transparent look into the heart and soul of Sanctus Real.  With the always-soulful voice of Matt Hammitt leading, each song is like one new step in the faith journey.  It’s hard to imagine anyone listening to each song and NOT finding some kinship within their own faith walk.

Hammitt wears his heart on his sleeve with this album, with each song playing its part to tell a story.  Live eavesdropping on a man’s prayer, PoaRH gives insight into the heart of Sanctus Real, allowing the listener to examine their own heart and relationship with Christ.  From the first song to the last, it grabs the heart of the listener, squeezing it with powerful melodies, expert musicianship, and just enough catchiness to make you want to listen to them over and over!  I’ve come to expect nothing less from the guys of Sanctus Real!

Lord, Move or Move Me

There’s a LOT of music out there that I like. (that’s kind of a stupid comment) I consider myself open to just about every genre – pop, rock, alternative, rap, girl rock, basic acoustic stuff, southern gospel….pretty much anything in the Christian music world. There’s very little I don’t like – as most who know me can confirm. (It really goes for all music, Christian or not)
Back when FFH was together, I bought their albums (mostly because of the two-or-so songs I enjoyed at the time, and because one of my best college friends LOVED them). I was never really a fan, I have to admit. They were just one of those bands I could never really…take much of. There is that couple of songs, though, that get me singing along, but all-in-all they’re sound never really pulled me in.

All that aside, FFH is reuniting – after years of ministry apart from their music as a band, and life journeys – they’ve come back together and were actually on K-LOVE last night doing an interview with Scott and Kelly. I wasn’t thinking much about it, really – maybe a quick thought of Oh yeah, I forgot about them or something to that effect.
They got to talking about the struggles they’d faced, as a group and individually, over the past several years – and they played one of their old songs (titled above).

As God tends to do, He struck me dumbfounded as I drove home from Georgetown, listening to the words of this song.

I can’t find the words to pray, I’m a little down today
Can You help me, Can You hold me?
I feel a million miles away, And I don’t know what to say
Can You hear me anyway?

What I need is for You to reach out Your hand
You have taught me no matter what You’d understand

Lord move in the way, that I’ve never seen before
Cause there’s a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I’m drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move), or move me. 

I’ve looked every where to find a simple peace of mind
But, I can’t find nothing on my own
So I gotta leave myself behind, take up this cross of mine
Give away everything I hold onto 

Lord I know the only way is through this
But Lord, I know I need You to help me do this

Lord move in the way, that I’ve never seen before
Cause there’s a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I’m drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move), or move me. 

Out of this place of complacency
To a place of fellowship with Thee
‘Cause I am weak, but Lord, You are so strong
And You know it’s been way too long
It’s been way too long 

Lord move in the way, that I’ve never seen before
Cause there’s a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I’m drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move
Lord Move or Move Me – FFH

I guess what really gets me – despite the fact that within the last week I’ve recieved three (that’s three out of the five I’ve been waiting on) negative responses on job opportunities – is the fact that….I’ve become complacent (sort of) in my current situation.  I’ve gotten used to the fact that…eventually I’ll get a job…eventually I’ll “find my way,” I guess.

I don’t want that.

And I know…I KNOW God doesn’t want that for me.

At least, that’s one thing I know God wants for me.  Because, honestly – I’ve started to question everything else.

I’ve been (almost daily) looking at one of the many books on my amazon wishlist.  It’s called Plan B: What To Do When God Doesn’t Show Up the Way You Thought He Would
Quite honestly, I feel like God hasn’t shown up at all…which is quite unexpected from what I was thinking would happen.  And it’s gotten me wondering about what I thought may be God’s plan for me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still convinced God wants me in youth ministry.  But, I think – at least I wonder if – maybe I’ve gotten more wrapped up in what I want and not so much what God wants for me.

I feel like God wants me to grow, not just in my relationship with Him, but with myself as well.

One question I got asked when I interviewed with Tentmakers a few weeks ago – was about how I stretch myself out of my comfort zone…how I get outside my introvertedness.
I had to admit, a big part of that was moving away from home – making myself physically set-apart from my safe zone.  When I’m away, I have to open up and adapt more quickly.  Besides, when I’m away from family, I feel like I’m more free to be…me…or at least a different me than what my family usually sees.
And I think, in ministry God affords me those opportunities to grow as a person…to learn more of what I’m capable of…to recognize the real boundaries I can set for myself.

And it’s hard NOT to get excited about what I know I want to be doing…especially when I start thinking about things I’d like to do within a ministry setting…things I’d like to share…things like that.
But, I think the one thing that makes it even harder…is the idea that maybe God doesn’t want that for me…at least, not like I thought.

It’s been a year, now, that I’ve been actively seeking out a full-time ministry position.  I’ve had nothing but rejection thus far.  Sure, I’ve had the occassional phone interview….but they’ve not materialized into anything.
At first I realized maybe my education in creative writing was hurting me – churches saw maybe I had more passion for writing than for youth ministry.  So, I made it known that one passion feeds another…one only helps me do the other better….

Now, I’m thinking my time out of ministry is hurting me.  People see I left my job after two years….I went back to school….so what have I been doing this last year?  It’s a fair question…
and I have a well-thought-out answer….

I just wish people would afford me the opportunity to answer it.

I don’t know.  I still don’t think I’m ready to think about “plan b…” yet.  I feel like, I’m still heading in the right direction…and I think once I find the church for me it’ll all seem like gravy….
I mean, I’ve still got a couple prospects open (one church in VA is really taking their time reviewing resumes – at least that’s what they tell me they’re doing) – and I’m still sending resumes out as I find openings that seem to fit what I’m looking for (opportunities to stretch and grow, but also thrive).

I guess, really – all this frustration comes down to the main point of the song….Lord, move in a way that I’ve never seen before – move these mountains, open these doors that seem to be blocking everything I THINK You want me to do – or, Lord move ME – give me clarity of mind to read the situation and make the right choices…because I’m tired of guessing

Holding onto…something

I’m a little weird – this probably doesn’t come as news to most people – but given my tendencies to be a little….odd, I also find myself dealing with the typical “girl” situations as well.

It’s no secret my love life has been….absent the past 28 years. 
And to the people that know me best – it’s no secret that I’ve long desired to, one day, marry a Christian musician.  I’ve always had a “soft spot” for – guys who play guitar, guys who sing, guys who love Jesus, and…well….let’s face it… guys with British accents.  You give me a Brit who loves to sing about Jesus and I’d be smitten!!

I also realize, though, there’s this little place in which I live – a place called reality…er…Cynthiana…and the odds of finding said British guitar player is quite non-existent.
That being said – I’m not holding my breath on the chances of falling in love in the next few months.

However, I can’t seem to help myself, from time to time, when I come across a band (a new band, mind you) and instantly take note of the lead male’s left hand.  (Go ahead, call me weird).  There’s just something (some distant hope, maybe) that rises a bit when I learn about these guys…these musicians…when they’re hearts come out in their songs, when they challenge their listeners to grow in their own relationships with Christ.  There’s just something – maybe the hopeless romantic in me – that wonders….that thinks….just maybe….

Listening to K-Love last week – there was an interview with Phil Wickham, Leeland, and Matt Maher (I think it was those guys) … and then the other night they interviewed Matt Brower… and the stories of how these guys met their wives…how they got engaged…
It just makes me a bit….weepy…. a bit…sentimental.
I can’t remember which guy it was – talking about his fiance, how she traveled the road with them, sold merchandise for them every night….and all I’m thinking is….I WANT THAT!!! 

I’ve not completely given up on the idea…quite honestly – something inside me feels like God’s given me these desires for a reason….
but…I’m also realistc….
BUT – I’m not willing to settle, either! 🙂

I figure – just maybe – God’s got my British-Christian-guitar-player waiting for me…..somewhere.

On a more serious note –
given the idea that I’m sticking with my musical devotions….I’ve attached a video from Tenth Avenue North – the story behind their newest single “This Is Where The Healing Begins” – great song , powerful message!
Give it a watch – give it some thought….and begin the healing process of your own.