A Year with Aslan: Day 24 – Puddleglum

In all of the Chronicles of Narnia, Puddleglum just may be one of my favorite characters.  I’m not so sure it’s his attitude that is so enduring, but his change in attitude throughout the story of The Silver Chair.  And then there’s just the eccentricity of being a marshwiggle that’s kind of cool.

But, Puddleglum is downcast and pessimistic throughout most of the story.  He continues to think the worst of every situation…the firewoods probably wet, or it will be wet because it looks like rain…or the journey’s long but it doesn’t matter because we probably won’t even make it half way…
that sort of thing.

And it’s exhausting just reading his pessimism.  I can’t imagine how exhausting it would be to actually be that pessimistic.
Although, tonight at work, I had my fair run at being Puddleglum.

I was sent to the liquor store to give the cashier over there her 15-minute break.  Nothing unusual.  I was standing there in front of the little electric heater, actually enjoying the quiet for a bit, when the phone rang.  I’m not over there for more than a couple of minutes when this happens.  I answer the phone – it’s one of the Customer Service Managers telling me that when I get back to the main store, I’m supposed to meet with the manager.  There’s no other explanation.
So, I hang up the phone, and for the next 15-20 minutes my mind is racing with all the different scenarios.  I’m in trouble: maybe they’re “coaching” me on something…I was short on my drawer the last shift…I’ve done something completely wrong (no telling what)…
Or maybe they’re commending me for something…maybe I’ve done something right…
no, I’ve probably done something wrong and they want to talk to me about it.

I’m seriously sweating it out and finally the cashier comes back from her break and head back to the main store.  I then have to wait a few more minutes while the manager finishes some job she’s doing before she leads me to the back office.
Turns out it was just time for my 90-day evaluation. 
I’m a sold performer on the Wal-Mart team.  Good to know.  And I exceed expectations with my customer service skills.  Apparently customers have “bragged” about my cheery disposition.   

So, yeah…it wasn’t anything major.  It was, in fact, pretty uplifting. 
But, of course, when I’m reading tonight’s Narnia passage and it’s about Puddleglum’s lack of a cheery dispositiong…I couldn’t help but flash back to my afternoon at work.

It’s hard to be optimistic all the time, especially when it really does seem like everything just goes wrong anyway.
I left my job in Ohio confident that my life was going to work out one way, and I would be happy with that.  Turns out it’s been NOTHING like I thought it would be.  In fact, it’s been an adventure quite worthy of Puddleglum’s worldview. 

I didn’t get the job I thought I was going to get.
I went back to school full-time instead – definitely the high point of the last couple years.
My dog died.
I didn’t find a job before I finished my year of study.
I still haven’t found a job.
My grandmother had major heart surgery and months of complications.
My family spent Christmas in the nursing home.
Traditions are changing.
I still haven’t found a job.
I’m cashiering at Wal-Mart.

But yet…I’m not without hope…and even though my “cheery disposition” get’s dampened from time to time…it gets picked back up again, because…really, what’s the point of being negative?
I have a plan in place…and maybe God’s laughing at me…maybe it’s a plan I should’ve had in place over a year ago.  Maybe it’s just taken me this long to really come to terms with things…I don’t know.
But, I’m starting to get what James is talking about…

Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord’s coming.  See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains.  You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near.  Don’t grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged.  The Judge is standing at the door!
Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord.  As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered.  You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about.  The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.  James 5: 7-11

Is any one of you in trouble?  He should pray.  Is anyone happy?  Let him sing songs of praise.  Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And te prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.  James 5: 13-16

And just because I’m facing setbacks doesn’t mean I can’t revel in the little marvels God presents me…a flock of geese flying over at sunset…a fresh blanket of snow on a day off…
Because if anything, even if there is the occasional struggle/crisis of faith, I’m not WITHOUT faith.  I’m not without God’s promises that He does have a plan for me…a purpose for me.

A Year with Aslan: Day 18 – Are You Good at Believing Things?

“Yes, but this is a really terrific secret.  Pole, I say, are you good at believing things?  I mean things that everyone here would laugh at?”
“I’ve never had the chance,” said Jill, “but I think I would be.”
“Could you believe me if I said I’d been right out of the world..”
…
“All right,” said Jill, “I’ll believe you.”

When I read this for the first time, sometime last week, I kind of laughed a little.  It just seems so simple – so easy for Jill to believe Eustace.  It’s rather convenient that right after he tells her about Narnia, they’re pulled into the country by Aslan.  And even more convenient that the first real interaction Jill has with anyone in Narnia is with Aslan.  It has to be pretty easy to believe something when all the proof you need is smacking you right in the face.  *Seeing is believing*

It’s like asking me to believe in aliens….or something.

When I think about my faith, why I believe what I believe, I can say I believe what I believe, I believe in Jesus Christ because I’ve had proof that He exists.  I’ve experienced the love of Christ in my life.
I guess, really, I’m a bit like Jill Pole when it comes to my Christian faith.  I’ve never really questioned why I believe Jesus is the son of God.  I’ve never had a real crisis of faith to make me wonder if it’s all real.  From the time I was a little girl, I just accepted it as truth.

I guess I’m lucky to have it so easy.

I’ve decided to, along with my daily Narnian readings, to pull together some semblance of a daily Bible reading plan.  I’m not quite sure what that plan is going to look like yet.  But, I’ve never actually read the Bible in its entirety.  It’s probably about time that I do, because there’s still a lot I don’t know about what I believe, and the history of my faith.
So, tonight, I pulled out my NRSV Bible, I bought some new highlighters, and I opened up to the gospel of Matthew.  I read chapter one.

The majority of the chapter is given to the listing of Jesus’ genealogy – from Abraham, to David, to Joseph.
I never really paid much attention to this list…always just kind of skimmed over it to get to the story of the virgin birth.  But, the genealogy of Christ is important.  It not only shows, generation for generation, the family lineage of Jesus, but it is the fulfillment of prophecy – that the Messiah will be of the line of David – it provides proof that Jesus is who He claims to be.
(I always loved the way C.S. Lewis put it in Mere Christianity – and I’m paraphrasing – either Jesus is who He says He is, or He’s a mad man.)

It must have been so easy to believe in Jesus as the son of God when he was living on Earth.  People had first had experience witnessing Jesus walking on water, healing people of illness, expelling demons, changing water into wine.  And imagine being at the tomb on that Sunday after Christ was crucified.  Imagine seeing Him standing before you, no longer wearing His grave-clothes.
Sure, it must have been confusing…terrifying…mystifying…and just kind of freaky.
But, with a full understanding of Old Testament prophecy – as the majority of Jewish people did at that time – it had to be such incredible proof, that finally the Messiah had arrived.  All was going to be made right again!

But, now…2000 years later…people are still believing it…having never witnessed it first hand.  I believe it…having never witnessed it first hand.  And the only reason I can give to why I believe it…well…it’s because Christ has revealed Himself to me in other ways.  I’ve seen Jesus in the middle of a snowy field in the backwoods of Michigan.  (Okay, not physically the body of Christ, but I’ve seen His power and experienced His peace in the quiet that consumed me there.)
I’ve seen Jesus in an early morning sunrise over the Atlantic Ocean.
I’ve felt the love of Christ in a friend’s embrace, in my mother’s arms, in the warmth that spread through me when just the right song comes on the radio.

I don’t have the proof of miracles performed right before my eyes.
But, I don’t need them. 

So, why do you believe what YOU believe??

A Year with Aslan: Day 7 – Trust

“Will you promise not to — do anything to me, if I do come?” said Jill
“I make no promise,” said the Lion.

This passage as a whole has me thinking back to The Lion, the Witch,and the Wardrobe and the scene with Mr. Beaver – “…he’s not a tame lion” (or the scene with Lucy and Mr. Tumnus; “He’s not a tame lion.”  “No, but he is good…”)
So, it doesn’t really strike me as completely odd, this exchange between Jill and Aslan…Aslan, as a character is so complex…the ‘Jesus figure’ for these stories…yet characteristically a wild beast.

Can such a character be trusted?

It’s interesting to see the differences in characters – Lucy Pevensie never once questioned Aslan…there was never a time she didn’t trust him.  My favorite scenes are when she hugs him, when he romps with her in the forest, when she rides on his back…
There’s never a question of safety in her mind.

Yet with Jill…
I’ve still not pulled my copy of The Silver Chair out of the box I packed it in when I moved back to KY – will have to do that tomorrow – but I can only guess this is her first encounter…her first meeting with Aslan.
I’d probably be quite similar in reaction…though…having an idea of who Aslan is…I have to think I’d be more willing to have a Lucy-like encounter with the Great Lion.

I tend to trust people a little too quickly, honestly.  I tend to assume the best in people…regardless of what I know about them.  Probably an admirable quality to have…but it can also be dangerous.
I have a feeling I could be quite easy to take advantage of…and that kind of scares me…but, I tend to trust people until they prove me wrong.

And maybe I’m naive…maybe….
but I keep thinking about the think Anne Frank said toward the end of her diary…

I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.
Anne Frank

I know there is crookedness in the world…I know there is greed, shame, poverty, pain, crime, death, sickness, injustice…sin…I know this exists.  I know people are the cause of most of this…our fallen nature as human beings has brought all of this misery into the world….but deep down…doesn’t good still exist in people?  Doesn’t the inherent goodness still smolder in even the most crooked and sinful people??
Is that good enough to hold onto the ideal that humanity is not without hope…humanity is not a lost cause?

A Year with Aslan: Day 6 – The Door to Narnia

I’ve not yet read The Silver Chair – but reading today’s passage has peaked my interest.  If only I can remember where I stored my books….

In The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, we’re introduced to Eustace – There once was a boy named Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.  And I was quite impressed with the young actor cast to portray Eustace in the movie…he was brilliant, I have to admit.
So, Eustace returns to Narnia in The Silver Chair…which is the excerpt I read today – his re-entry into Narnia.  And while it’s a portrayal of his return to Narnia, more of the focus is placed on his friend, Emily Pole, and her reaction to entering an unknown world. 

There’s fear…there’s excitement…and it kind of reminds me of the last time I travel out of the United States.

I was living in Ohio and had been given the opportunity to travel to the Czech Republic for a 10 day retreat/youth conference.  It’s Prague…I’m not going to pass on the chance of a lifetime…maybe the only chance I’d get to see this place!
So, I pack…and the whole time I’m on the flight…with two guys from Columbus, I’d only just met that morning, had only really talked to a couple of times on the phone…I’m freakin’ out.  What am I doing on this plane?  I’m sitting by two complete strangers….I can’t believe I’m doing this.

We get off the plane in Germany – having to run to make our connecting flight and meet the fourth member of our team.  We land in Prague and discover our luggage had been lost in transit…somewhere between DC and Frankfurt…or luggage got lost…due to delays…missed connections…blah, blah, blah.  We check through customs, after attempting to locate our luggage, leaving an incomplete address with the airline to forward our luggage when it’s found…and we meet our driver (doesn’t speak English…not much)…not a very warm welcome, if I remember correctly.
So, far the trip’s off to an excellent start!
The whole time, I’m wondering why I’m there…I’m still freaked that I’ve managed to travel the globe completely on my own…i’m in Prague…and wow…did you see that building???  Ana check out the statues on the building outside our window!

I’m feeling this mix of emotions…I’m exhausted (sleeping on a plane…not ideal) … I’m pumped with adrenaline…the city is amazing.
But, I”m without my luggage…no real shoes – the new hiking boots I’d bought for this trip (a few hundred bucks) are somewhere in Europe…I hope…and it’s hot…no real AC in Europe, either.
Lucky I packed on change of clothes in my carry-on.

But the whole trip is like this…nevermind the panic and fear I experienced when we left the city, traveled to the countryside and parked at the base of the mountain we had to hike up.  I mean….this is a MOUNTAIN – not one of those hills in Eastern Kentucky…not one of those…
I bought of pair of Czech shoes…and some socks…because I only had a pair of sandals with me on the plane (ideal for security checks, thank you, but not hiking), they didn’t exactly hold up well on this hike.
and really…I don’t know if it was my naivete or what…but the first hike wasn’t really all that bad.  Sure, I was beat when I got to the top…but, you should read about the second hike a couple of days later…I blogged about it a while back…http://www.facebook.com/#!/note.php?note_id=5376126764 

And when my luggage arrived later that afternoon…I nearly wept with joy at the new shoe smell of my lovely hiking boots – granted they didn’t make the hike, really, any easier…

I can remember the whole week at Herlikovitz like it was yesterday…I remember every emotion I felt.  I didn’t want to miss a thing…I hiked when everyone else hiked (except for the last day – and a promise I stuck to with a fellow camper – still kinda kicking myself for that one) – my eyes were wide open the entire time…but so were my emotions.  I was homesick, I was alone in a foreign country (at least I felt alone) – and I was exhausted from a summer of struggle and triumph.  I wanted to go home more often than I wanted to stay there…and the effort it took for me to keep my attitude positive exhausts me now just thinking about it.
But, I wouldn’t trade that summer for the world.

I feared every new day that summer…but I pushed forward with excitement and wonder…
and I’m more thankful for it now!!  I’m the person I am today because of that summer…because of that trip….

and I can’t wait to pull out my copy of The Silver Chair to see how Emily Pole works it out!

All this to say – i know exactly how Emily Pole feels upon entering Narnia – there’s fear of the unknown…but wow…think of the adventures waiting!!