A Year with Aslan: February 6 – Narnia, Awake!

The Lion, whose eyes never blinked, stared at the animals as hard as if he was going to burn them up with his mere stare.  And gradually a change came over them.  The smaller ones – the rabbits, moles, and such-like – grew a good deal larger.  The very big ones – you noticed it most with the elephants – grew a little smaller.  Many animals sat up on their hind legs.  Most put their heads on one side as if they were trying very hard to understand.  The Lion opened his mouth, but no sound came from it; he was breathing out, a long, warm breath; it seemed to sway all the beasts as the wind sways a line of trees.  Far overhead from beyond the veil of blue sky which hid them the stars sang again; a pur, cold, difficult music.  Then there cam a swift flash like fire (but it burnt nobody) either from the sky or from the Lion itself, and every drop of blood tingled in the children’s bodies, and the deepest, wildest voice they had ever heard was saying:
“Narnia, Narnia, Narnia, awake.  Love.  Think.  Speak.  Be walking trees.  Be talking beasts.  Be divine waters.”

I can’t begin to imagine the awe and wonder felt at the beginning of all things in Narnia – to witness the birth of everything from nothing.

I feel like I’m on the verge of an awakening – too long I’ve felt my soul has been in perpetual darkness…sleeping…dormant.  And all I want is to feel alive – to feel the awe and wonder felt at the beginning of Narnia.  To feel my blood bubble with excitement.
I want to know I’m living for something…that I’m being Jesus to people around me, yes – but that I’m also experiencing Jesus.

And it makes me sad watching the crumbling of the world around me.  Because, where can joy be when if seems that everything is falling apart?
People are hurting, morals are lost, hope is hard to find…
And it seems it’s all I see – all I feel…

And part of me wonders – where is Jesus?
Because, more and more I feel like Peter Pevensie in Prince Caspian waiting for a savior that doesn’t seem to be coming.  And I HATE that feeling…like it’s up to me to change things…because these problems seem too big…I can’t do it on my own.

I want to feel an awakening…the breath of life blowing over me…the warmth of a soul renewed.  It seems like such a simple prayer, but for so long, it seems – it’s been the cry of my broken spirit…the cry of my heart.

In our hearts, Lord, In this Nation
Awakening
Holy Spirit, we desire 
Awakening.

For You and You alone
Awake my soul
Awake my soul, and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done
Let Your will be done in me

In Your presence, in Your power
Awakening
For this moment, for this hour
Awakening

For You and You alone
Awake my soul
Awake my soul, and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done
Let Your will be done in me

For You and You alone
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done, let Your will be done in me

Like the rising sun that shines
From the darkness comes a light
I hear Your voice and this is my Awakening

Only You can raise a life
Awake my soul
Awake my soul, and sing

 

A Year with Aslan: Day 28 – Strawberry Speaks

I kind of maybe think I’m about to breach a topic that may seem…silly – at least in the beginning.  But, I can’t imagine I’m the ONLY person to ever consider such questions….

So, here it is –

if I can manage to put it into words….

How do we know our reality is….real.

Take the color blue for instance.  How do we know it was really intended to be blue.  What if our “blue” was really meant to be “red” and this whole time we’ve been thinking the sky is blue – it’s really been red all this time.
Or, take taste for example.  How do I know what I think tastes like chicken doesn’t taste like something else to someone else.  I mean, does what I’m tasting taste exactly the same to another person??

Color and taste aside…what about beauty?

I mean, we all seem to have general, ie. widespread, opinions about what is attractive, beautiful…whatever.  We all seem to agree on the basics…slender frame, toned and fit, usually tall…eye color maybe is negotiable…but for the most part…beauty is pretty uniform. 

A clear blue sky, 70 degrees and sunshine on a beach with green palm trees = paradise.

So, who decided all of this??
And why are we so quick to follow suit when it comes to these things?
Granted…taste and color can’t really be argued at this point.  And the beach equalling paradise isn’t necessarily true for everyone.  But what about physical beauty? 
Sure, there are some that don’t value the same things as the majority…but the majority IS the majority.

Given that…
I’ve always grown up looking in the mirror seeing…average…plain…and let’s face it – UGLY Sarah.
I’m not looking for sympathy…I’m just telling it the way it is.  I don’t fit the mold of what the majority of the world calls beautiful.
I’m okay with that.  I think most would agree, I’ve not really been the girly-type anyway…so the make-up and girly clothes wouldn’t fit me anyway..

But…it gets a little complicated tonight…and all because a horse started talking.

See, in The Magician’s Nephew – the Cabby finally gets the other side of the story…
He’s seen his life…his entire existence from one side…the need to survive…
The horse tells it differently…having been the one doing all the work for so many years…

So…it’s got me wondering about the other side of my story.  And I’m not just talking about my looks anymore…
because for so long, I’ve heard the words from people around me…”you’re not ugly” – “you’re beautiful the way you are” … and, yeah sometimes they’re hard to accept, to believe.  But…I think my eyes are changing…my perspective is changing.

For three months I’ve been complaining about the job I have.
At least I have a job – I’m making my bills – I’m saving for a car.

And really it’s the main thing I’ve focused on for these past few months…

My grandmother is sick…she’s not getting better…
At least my grandmother is still around – is still smiling – is making small improvements –

My grandfather is a pain in the butt – is worrisome….
My grandfather is almost 90 years old – fought in WW 2 – has done the best he could – is a loving husband to an ailing wife – I’m lucky he’s still around

There are two sides to every coin…I know this.
And I guess, what I’m wanting to learn more, now…to stop viewing things from the more blurred human perspective and start looking at things from God’s perspective.

I am His child – made for a specific purpose on Earth – whether I get married or not – whether I lose the 30-40 pounds I want to lose…I’m His beloved child and nothing can change that! 

Am I only looking at things from one side?
Am I seeing one shade of blue when God is seeing the whole spectrum of colors??

A Year with Aslan: Day 20 – Awakening Evil

*beware of the ramble * in my head it all makes sense*

I think it’s kind of funny that in order for good to be recognizable in the world, there has to be bad.  There has to be something to judge it by…if you get what I’m saying.  Like – you wouldn’t know the goodness of winning if you hadn’t lost at one point or another.

We get to the point in The Magician’s Nephew were Digory and Polly awaken the Queen of Charn – Jadis.  If you’ve read The Chronicles of Narnia you know Jadis becomes the White Witch in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe responsible for the long winter in Narnia.  She’s the incarnation of evil in these stories.  She has no heart for what is good, only what is self-serving and powerful.  She uses people to get what she wants…and what she wants is more power.

We only know she’s truly evil because we have something to judge her by – or someone – Aslan.  We know Aslan’s heart is for peace and tolerance…so it makes sense that Jadis, being quite the opposite, is bad.

It’s kind of funny thinking about the connection between this passage and the passage I read out of James (James 2: 1-13) and some things that happened today at work.
This particular passage out of James’ letter talks about showing favoritism – condemns favoritism.  it warns the reader to leave the judging to God, that to show favoritism is sinful…and illegal according to the law (the Jewish law, the law of God).
And, it does connect with the passage from The Magician’s Nephew, I promise – it’s just kind of roundabout way.

See, tonight at work (and most nights really) I had a thought, a thought I’m not necessarily proud that I had.  It was an abstract thought…more of an attitude I tend to have.  A man came through my line tonight – a perfectly nice, polite man – that smelled so bad I nearly suffocated from holding my breath.  Had I not held my breath,  I feared I would’ve thrown up…it was seriously that bad.  It was so bad, I continued to smell him hours after waiting on him…
It’s not an exaggeration.

And it’s like this passage in James – do you take the man at his appearance…do you judge him for what he looks like and refuse to love him, serve him, witness to him?  The answer (to me) is an obvious no.
The time I spend with people going through my line is minimal.  Five – ten minutes at the most, depending on the size of their orders.  I have a chance to be Jesus to these people – and if I’m scoffing inwardly at the way their dressed, or the way they smell, or the lack of healthy food their buying with their food stamps, I’m missing out on prime Jesus time with them.
I can’t treat people differently – as hard as it is sometimes.

And this whole favortism…judging thing…connected back to Narnia.  It’s kind of like this…we know good because we know bad.  Like, if Jadis hadn’t been brought into Narnia…would the sweet sound of Aslan’s voice, be as sweet?
I’m getting the feeling like it sounds like I”m condoning the bad stuff…I’m not.  Had it not been for the temptation in the Garden, this wouldn’t even be an issue.  The bad/evil wouldn’t exist – or maybe it would’ve just found another way into the world….????
I don’t know…but you know, of the bad stuff that’s happened in life…I’m not talking evil…I’m just talking rotten luck…I don’t think I’d change it.  I mean, losing really does make winning that much sweeter.
As for the evil (crime, injustice, immorality)…yeah, I could do without that.  But, as long as it exists…I can be an example of the good.  I can be Jesus in the darkness, and maybe…hopefully shed a little light on life for someone else in the dark – no matter what they look like…

A Year with Aslan: Day 14 – Reacting to the Call

But the Witch looked as if, in a way, she understood the music better than any of them.  Her mouth was shut, her lips were pressed together, and her fists were clenched.  Ever since the song began she had felt that this whole world was filled with a Magic different from hers and stronger.  She hated it.  She would have smashed that whole world, or all worlds, to pieces, if it would only stop the singing.

I imagine, having power like the White Witch had, she’d understandably have a full understanding of the power that would ultimately end her.  Her fear and hatred is…logical.
I think that’s where people are misguided when it comes to evil…and maybe even the terrorism of today.  It’s hard to understand why people would act a certain way…but I think it’s important to want an understanding…to increase one’s knowledge of what’s going on…and maybe the motives behind it.

I’ve been watching a lot of CSI these past few days…so maybe there’s something leaking through all of that…
but when someone understands the reason behind something…or the beliefs behind something…it becomes less…scary.  It’s part of the reason I’m interested in the Muslim religion.   Yes…terrorism is frightening…but I think, if there’s some knowledge of what these terrorists believe in…it opens up avenues for understanding and discussion. 
I’m in no way condoning these acts of violence and murder as anything more than what they are…religious beiefs aside…there is no excuse for taking another person’s life.

But…the Witch fears the voice of Aslan because she understands it…not only as the power that can end her…but, she understands it as a power unto itself…simply because her power is so twisted and evil.

I respond to certain voices in the same way…
when I was a kid…if I was in trouble, I could tell it by the sound of my mom or dad’s voice.  There was a tone…
The same if I had done something good.

I think there needs to be a sense of recognition…a sense of…this is who is talking to me…and why…
Fear isn’t always necessary when hearing the voice of God…or Aslan.

The children were excited by this voice.  The witch…understandably frightened.

The more we hear God’s voice…the more able we are to recognize it…and the tone’s of it…

And that’s what I want…because as hard as I try, God’s voice still stumps me.  I hear it clearly sometimes…sometimes I don’t hear it at all.  sometimes it frightens me…other times it fills me with awe and wonder.  But, what I a fantastic sound it is – the wonderful song – so deep, so enchanting – you just instantly recognized it as something Good.  THAT’S what God’s voice sounds like

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow  John 10:27

A Year with Aslan: Day 13 – The Voice

In the darkness something was happening at last.  A voice had begun to sing.  It was very far away and Digory found it hard to decide from what direction it was coming.  Sometimes it seemed to come from all directions at once.  Sometimes he almost thought it was coming out of the earth beneath them.  Its lower notes were deep enough to be the voice of the earth herself.  There were no words.  There was hardly even a tune.  But it was, beyond comparison, the most beautiful noise he had ever heard.  It was so beautiful he could hardly bear it.

The longer I stay in one place, the more blind I become to its beauty.  I remember coming home from Ohio and being mesmerized by the beauty of Kentucky.  I don’t really ever being that way when I lived here in high school…or even in college.  In fact, most of the time I couldn’t wait to get away from it.  I didn’t…couldn’t appreciate the beauty around me, and maybe it’s because I didn’t have much to compare it to, or maybe it’s because…like so many things I spend too much time with…I got tired.

Any place new…or any place different…the beach…the mountains…
I can’t help but stand in awe at the beauty.  And I’ve wondered before, how in the world people living in these areas ever get anything done.  I always figured if I lived near the ocean, near the mountains, I’d NEVER get anything done simply because I’d be staring at the world around me.  But, then I can’t help but think, like my getting bored with my surroundings in Kentucky…people get used to the ocean always being there…or they get used to the blue mountains in the background…
and it must be sad.

I couldn’t stand the thought of being bored with staring at the ocean…or the green hills of Ireland.

It’s not hard…this getting bored.
But, it’s tiresome.
I hate being bored by the things around me…especially when it makes me ignore the beauty around me.

Because…there’s beauty all around…
and really…I guess the hardest place to see the beauty – in the people around me – is the place I’m blind to it the most.  Never mind the scenery around me…what about the person in my check-out lane at Wal-Mart, or the person walking down the street collecting cans in the same pair of dirty clothes she wears every day…

I’m so prone to turn an eye away the from things that are not asthetically pleasing – especially if it’s going to take me out of my comfort zone.
But…that voice inside me…the voice of the Beautiful One…can’t be ignored….because like Digory hearing the voice in Narnia…God’s voice is too beautiful to ignore.
And I guess, what’s got me thinking now…what’s the Voice calling me to do with the beauty around me.  Is it just asking me to notice it more?  OR is there something more to it….

A Year with Aslan: Day 9 – The Call

Aslan threw up his shaggy head, opened his mouth, and uttered a long, single note; not very loud, but full of power.  Polly’s heart jumped in her body when she heard it.  She felt sure that it was a call, and that anyone who heard the call would want to obey it and (what’s more) would be able to obey it, however many worlds and ages lay between.

I’ve talked a lot about my calling into ministry…what that call looks like…sounds like…I kind of akin to Aslan’s roar.
It’s something I can’t ignore…something I can’t help but WANT to answer.  Like something Magic pulling me in a direction with little control as to when or how I get there.

Like the Caddy and his wife in The Magician’s Nephew being called into service as King and Queen of Narnia…or the Pevensie children stepping into a battle…or Eustace returning to Narnia to save Caspian’s son…
In some ways…they were reluctant…fearful…doubtful…
who wouldn’t be, really…
but in the end, their faith in Aslan to see them through won out.
It’s one thing I love about these stories…

Because like the Pevensies…like Eustace, I have faith – regardless of the shape my calling takes, I know God will see me through it.  I guess it’s the one thing that’s gotten me through these last couple of years, emotionally/spiritually speaking.  Had I not the belief that God was in control, I’d probably gone mad before now…

I think reading back over this passage, it’s really the first line that sends chills up and down my spine…that really resonates with my soul. Aslan threw up his shaggy head, opened his mouth, and uttered a long, single note; not very loud, but full of power.  Because, all this time I feel like I’ve been waiting for God to shout something…for God to speak in a mighty roar…and it’s not happening. 

And the deeper I get into the character of Aslan, the more I see C.S. Lewis was a pure genius –
because, the more I get to know Aslan…the better  I feel I get to know God.

And the more I think about it…I’m not so sure God’s so concerned with WHAT He calls us to….
all this time I’ve felt lead into youth ministy…some type of ministry where I’m working hands-on, building relationships with teens, sharing the message of the Gospel…
but the shape of that calling on my life has changed…has morphed into something I never really thought it could change into.
I know I’ve mentioned Kevin DeYoung’s book, Just Do Something, on more than one occassion – how he talks about deciphering God’s will for your life…and how God’s will for anyone’s life is that he worship God with his whole heart, mind, and soul…the rest is just gravy…

so to speak…

But you know…I took a lot of that to heart…the calling in my life, yes, is to love God with all that I am…
but the second part of that, I think, comes in being willing to step up to whatever God presents…
like the Pevensies…like Eustace…face the battles, face the challenges, be willing to fight for One you believe in…the One you love with everything….and go out there and do what you love to do.