The Climb

I have to admit – I’m not a big Miley Cyrus fan…at least when it comes to music.  I don’t know much about her otherwise – I know there was a controversial photo shoot  a year or two ago and I know her dad is that “Achy, Breaky Heart” dude, Billy Ray.  I know more about Billy Ray than I do Miley, really – his foray into television with that medical show ‘Doc’ and now his role with Miley on Hannah Montana.
From what little I’ve read/heard, Miley seems to have some form of comedic genius that works well for her Disney show – and she seems to have maintained a wholesome image for her audience – Christian morals…etc.

Minus the risqué photo shoot – I’m not opposed to thinking she’s an okay poster-child for tweenage girls.

All this to say – not being an uber fan or anything – I’ve started letting one of her songs grow on me – and I’m actually excited for her movie “the Last Song” coming out later this week.
But since I want a blog that’s mainly about music and how it speaks to me – I’ll talk some about the song I’ve let pull on my heartstrings a little –

It sort of stirs in me Paul’s message in1 Corinthians about running the race –
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.  Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air.  No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

And while I’m beating myself up to finish the race – I’m not taking the time to enjoy the run.  It’s like so much crap gets piled on while you’re just trying to make it through – people disappoint, life lets you down – and it’s like you have no time to enjoy what’s going on around you before it’s all over. 
Paul uses a similar metaphor in his first letter to Timothy – train yourself to be godly, for physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. 1Tim 4: 7-8

I’ll just come right out and say it – sometimes life sucks!
And right now, I’m there.  It’s hard.  All I want to do is get out of what I’m doing, I want to run away.  I want to forget about the problems around me, forget about what I can’t do to fix things, and move on – get my life started…again.

But, I can’t do that right now.  And it’s hard – focusing on the here and now, when all I want to do is focus on what’s to come.  It’s hard to enjoy the time right now, because it seems so bad – so insurmountably bad.

And while, I guess, I could view this time as my “training” – I don’t know…
I’m just ready for it to be over!!!!

There’s always going to be another mountain – I’m always going to want to make it move – Always going to be an uphill battle – Sometimes I’m gonna to have to lose – Ain’t about how fast I get there – Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side – It’s the climb
The struggles I’m facing – The chances I’m taking – Sometimes might knock me down but – No I’m not breaking – I may not know it – But these are the moments that – I’m going to remember most yeah – Just got to keep going – And I,I got to be strong – Just keep pushing on, cause
There’s always going to be another mountain – I’m always going to want to make it move – Always going to be an uphill battle – Sometimes I’m gonna to have to lose – Ain’t about how fast I get there – Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side – It’s the climb

So Close

I’m so close to being so far from You – I was wrong, but it takes so much to say it to You –  Like a broken husband and wife who never talk but share their nights –  I’m so close to being so far away from You –  I have nothing when I’m living apart from You  – Outside, creation groans  to lose our darkness and be made whole – For my feet are close to slipping – Speak to my heart in time – You have promised, so I do believe You won’t forget this wandering child – Still, I’m so close to being so far from You – Though I know no one on their own makes it through –  My soul clings to the dust – So in Your life, let it be enough – For my feet are close to slipping – Speak to my heart and in time – You  have promised,  so I do believe  you won’t forget this wandering child – I’m so foolish to believe that I can escape Your love – – For my feet are close to slipping – you spoke to my heart, in time – you have promised, so I do believe you won’t forget this wandering child – You’re so close when I feel far away from You – You’re so close when I fee far away from You

So Close – Bethany Dillon

 

I remember listening to this song and thinking….wow…I guess I’m not the only one. 

Why, O lord, do you stand far off?  Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? – Arise, Lord!  Lift up your hand, O God.  Do not forget the helpless. – But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand.  The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless. 
Psalm 10: 1 & 12 – 14

How long, O Lord?  Will you forget me forever?  How long will you hide your face from me?  How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?  How long will my enemy triumph over me?  Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.  Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.  But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation.  I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.
Psalm 13

I hate feeling so distant from God – it’s like I don’t know what I can do to fix it.
It’s like – I’m praying…waiting for an answer that isn’t coming – at least, not the answer I want…

With all the crap that’s been going on with my family as of late – I’ve been praying and praying for a way out…for a job…for SOMETHING to happen to get me back on my own.  I remember telling a friend about everything – my frustrations with the church (my lack of feeling), with my family(my lack of control)… And like God speaking to me (though it wasn’t necessarily what I wanted to hear) it was like – hey, you’re so anxious to get out – but maybe you’re right where God needs you right now.
I honestly can’t imagine my mom dealing with all this crap on her own.  With Dad working odd hours, and Mom having most evenings alone – I guess…maybe…I’m where God does need me for the time being.

Maybe most times God isn’t as far off as I think –

I remember my first camp job over in Winchester several years ago.  There was this carved plague that said something along the lines – if God feels far away – guess who moved.  Like – basically, God’s not going anywhere. 
So, it’s got me re-evaluating my life and discovering ways to bring my relationship back to where it needs to be.

I mean, the idea that God hasn’t forgotten me has never left my mind.  I realize I’m always on God’s radar – God feels for what’s going on in my life.  I realize my timing isn’t God’s timing…that things will happen in His timing….
but sometimes…being human gets in the way of God’s promises – and sometimes I just want a little more confirmation that I’m still doing okay.

I have to admit – the past few weeks, life’s felt pretty empty.
The words of this song (I have nothing when I’m living apart from You  – So in Your life, let it be enough – You  have promised,  so I do believe  you won’t forget this wandering child) have become my prayer…a reminder of God’s promise of ever-presence in my life.
And I know I can sleep in peace with that in mind.

I Will Follow You

“Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?”

The King will reply, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” Matt 25: 37-40

 I can remember when I was in high school.  The town had been ravaged by flooding; I guess it was back in 1997.  I was a freshman; I’d just gotten back from my confirmation retreat.  We were scared, we really had no idea how bad things were as we came into town and discovered we couldn’t get any closer than Harrison Square.  I’m pretty sure we were all crying.
People were left homeless, everything they owned destroyed in the massive amounts of water that fell over a period of two days.  But honestly, none of that was on my mind that Sunday afternoon.  I remember wondering if we were going to have to sleep in the church van, if we’d get home, if we’d have school the next day…

Looking back, it’s not really all that surprising that that’s what I was thinking about.
And, honestly – I think it’s the one time I really remember my church stepping up and taking action for the community – I hope I’m mistaken, that I’m just not aware, but that’s beside the point …  I remember the church hosting a clothing drive.  TONS of clothes filled our sanctuary and youth room.  I remember my youth pastor calling to recruit me to come help sort clothes and help people get what they needed.  I remember my dad telling me I should go –

“Just think, one day you may not remember helping out, but God will.  He’ll look back at this one thing you did…” he said to me.  I don’t know if it was that or the idea that he’d be disappointed in me if I didn’t go, that struck me the hardest back then

But as crazy as it is…it’s that first thing that my dad said that has stuck with me thirteen years later.

I remember sorting t-shirts, helping community members find the sizes they needed.  I remember our kitchen being open for meals as people (hundreds of people) come in for warmth, clothing, and just someone to talk to.

When I read the above passage, that’s probably the one instance in my life I think of the most – the clothing drive, and the trips we made as a group to clean out homes damaged by the flood.  It’s really the first time I remember getting my hands dirty for someone else, it’s really the first time I experienced real mission work.

The other day I heard this song for the first time – well – I listened to it for the first time.  I guess it’s the new song by Leeland –

You live among the least of these the weary and the weak – And it would be a tragedy for me to turn away 
All my needs you have supplied – When I was dead you gave me life – How could i not give it away so freely?
I’ll follow you into the homes of the broken – follow you into the world. – I’ll meet the needs of the poor and the needy, God – I’ll follow You into the world
Use my hands – Use my feet – to make Your Kingdom come – to the corners of the earth until Your work is done – ‘Cause faith without works is dead – And on the cross Your blood was shed – So, how could we not give it away so freely?
I’ll follow You into the homes fo the broken – follow You into the world – I’ll meet the needs fo the poor and the needy, God – I’ll follow You into the world.

Listening to this song, I’m reminded not just of what I did in high school – or even what I’ve done since – but of what still needs to be done.  The idea of following Christ anywhere, to do what needs to be done in His name is a scary thought – it’s a VERY scary thought.  I know what’s out there – there’s a lot of anger, there’s a lot of pain, there’s a lot of hurting – and it’s our jobs, as Christians, as believers of a risen Savior, to want to fix what’s wrong in the world.

Honestly, I think I used to be afraid of “the least of these” – almost like…if I got too close…it would rub off, or something.  I can’t imagine I’m the only one to ever feel this way.  I mean, I remember working in a grocery store as a cashier.  I used to get so frustrated with people living off the government dime – people on food stamps, people on WIC – I remember watching as families would come in, kids without shoes on, dirt in every crevice, their clothes stained, their feet black.  It broke my heart, but not in a way that pushed me into action.  It was more of an anger that I felt like the parents didn’t care enough.  And then I’d see what they’d buy for groceries – processed foods, chips, candy, soda … Hardly ever did I see some of these families come through with fresh produce or fresh meat and bread.  It was sickening, because I knew it wasn’t healthy…and it was my tax money helping them pay for their poor diet.

That’s, obviously, not the response we need to have. 
Last night, I watched this new program on…CBS??? – the chef, Jamie Oliver, goes into the schools in Huntington, WV (the unhealthiest city in America) and educates kids on healthy eating.  Maybe that’s the same kind of response I need to have.  You know, instead of self-righteous anger, take that energy and put it to good use – organize an education program to educate parents and kids on healthy eating….or something.

You know – the Christ-like response isn’t to sit back and hope someone else takes care of it.  The Christ-like response isn’t to be afraid to get your hands a little dirty.
The Christ-like response is to see a problem, to see the hurting, and do whatever you can to love them, to help them through the situation.

So, now my question is… am I doing that?  Has anything changed?

A New Direction – A New Song – If You Will….

I know I need You – I need to love You –  I’d love to see You – It’s been so long.
I long to feel you – I feel this need for you – I need to hear You – Is that so wrong?
Now you pull me near You – When we’re close I fear You – Still I’m afraid to tell You all that I’ve done
Are You done forgiving – or can You look past my pretending, Lord – I’m so tired of defending what I’ve become
What have I become?
I hear you say, My love is over – It’s underneath – It’s inside – It’s in between –
The times you doubt Me – when you can’t feel – in times that you question, is this for real?
The times you’re broken – the times that you mend – the times that you hate me – and the times that you bend.
Well, my love is over – it’s underneath – it’s inside – it’s in between
It’s times you’re healing – when your heart breaks – the times that you feel like you’ve fallen from grace
the times you’re hurting – the times that you heal – the times you go hungry and are tempted to steal
in times of confusion, chaos, and pain – I’m there in your sorrow – under the weight of your shame
I’m there through your heartache – I’m there in the storm
My love, I will keep you  by my power alone
I don’t care where you’ve fallen – where you have been – I’ll never forsake You – My love never ends – Never ends
Times – Tenth Avenue North

I was driving home the other night – and typically when I’m driving, the music going strong, it’s not unusual for one song to stick out.  This particular night it was the song I’ve written out above – 
I’m not sure how many times I’ve listened to this song – why, all of a sudden, it hits me so hard that tears come to my eyes…but I had one of those moments where God just kind of “Gibbs slaps” me and forces me to see the truth that’s been staring me in the face all along.
It’s like my heart and soul were spoken out, the hurting and longing I’ve felt for God as of late, and God takes it – pulls me in and reminds me of my place…reminds me of His love for me.

I feel like – maybe for as long as a year – I’ve been going through the “Christian” motions – I’ve been blindly and heartlessly attending worship services (or have just NOT attended worship).  I’ve struggled with lack of feeling…anything – I’ve struggled with feelings of hurt, disappointment, and anger… and quite frankly, I’m not sure why.  It’s like all this frustration – the frustration of EVERYTHING – has just piled up.
It’s not a great place to be – and a hard place to get out of.

And so I’m dealing with all of this while the song ends…I’ve got a lump in my throat the size of a grapefruit and the water-downed Dr. Pepper I ordered from Sonic hours ago is doing little to alleviate the pain in my throat.  I nearly have to pull over – but I keep driving – and I replay the song.

 in times of confusion, chaos, and pain – I’m there in your sorrow – under the weight of your shame
I’m there through your heartache – I’m there in the storm
My love, I will keep you  by my power alone
I don’t care where you’ve fallen – where you have been – I’ll never forsake You – My love never ends – Never ends

And it’s weird, as I’ve kind of let things go, I’ve rediscovered a few things.  My love for writing has been rekindled – at least my desire to write.  My ministry mindset – while there the whole time- is invigorated – and I can’t wait to get out and do something.  I have a longing to make a difference, to impact the world around me.  I have a desire (for a job, of course) but for something else…

While I was driving – this song impacting me as it did – I decided to maybe push my blog in a new direction – not only to motivate me in my writing, but to push me in my relationship with Christ.
Which, maybe isn’t all that different from what I’ve been writing – but I want to do something more consistently.
And while it’s something I’ve done for myself, I’ve decided maybe it’s time to share some of it – or whatever comes of it from now on.

Music has always been such a huge part of my relationship with God – it’s not just my worship to Him, but allows Him to speak to me – or allows me to hear Him more easily…like I said, it’s not unusal for a song to speak to me in a “Gibbs slap” sorta way –

So – the plan
As I sort through my iTunes, as I sit at night listening to whatever… I’ll start listening with a purpose.  I’ll start investigating scripture from which these songs were birthed – and I’ll write…
I’ll write what God shares, I’ll write what I feel – what the song says about my life…
I’ll write lesson plans, I’ll write sermonettes for future use in my youth ministry…I”ll write whatever comes to mind and heart.

So, stick with me…it’s the beginning of something new….

Love ’em Like Jesus

I’ve had this phrase running through my head for several hours now – wondering what exactly it means.
There’s a lot going on with the family right now – a lot that calls a few things into question about what I previously thought about…some people. And it makes me wonder how much is too much…how much is not enough…and maybe even, where lines should be drawn.

I’ve had the idea thrown around that maybe I’m where I am to be a witness to the people around me – and I’m not opposed to that idea. The idea that I’m still in Cynthiana for a reason hasn’t escaped me – but maybe…what if…I’m being the wrong kind of witness?

So often I assume “love them like Jesus” just meant unconditional love – love the “least of these”… “do unto others”…
but…even God tells people the things they need to hear…and sometimes He doesn’t tell them in a “still small voice” – sometimes God gets tired of whispering and decides to yell…
I mean – Jesus storming the temple to overturn the tables of the money-changers didn’t mean he didn’t love them…he just didn’t like what they were doing…right?
So, why am I constantly walking on eggshells with the people around me, afraid to hurt feelings…afraid to start an argument…to say what I feel about what I’m seeing and hearing?
What if what I have to say is exactly what they need to hear? What if I tell someone to get off their butt and get a job? What if I tell someone they need to start taking responsibility for the decisions they’ve made in life…a child…a lifestyle…
what if???
It doesn’t mean I don’t love them – right?
I want to see the people in my life – in my family – succeed and be happy with what they do, with what they have. I want them to thrive – I want them to lead a life of example…of integrity.

What I’m seeing right now is NOT what I call living a life of example – a life of integrity…
and sure, I’ve thought that maybe they don’t know what that looks like…but, I know that’s not true.

Things are so messed up – and I’m not sure if “loving” them one way will hurt them more than if I “loved” them another way.

I’m saying all this, yet I’m still trying to form the thoughts in my mind – I guess really…what I want to say is what I should be saying…and maybe…after some time of prayer and consideration…I’ll have the courage to say what needs to be said.

Lessons from a 4-year-old

I was playing Play-Doh with my neice last weekend…I think it was last weekend  – I’m losing my mind in my old age…
whenever it was – we were playing…at least she was.

For my neice’s birthday, my grandparents bought her this Play-Doh set – you can make popcorn, hotdogs, ice cream – it’s really kinda cool.  I never had Play-Doh as a kid, and well…yeah…I’m a little jealous of the whole thing.
But anyway, she’s been begging me to play with her ever since she opened it.  So – a month later, Michael and I are celebrating our birthday and finally we get to play Play-Doh.
I’m laying out newspaper, clearing off the table, attempting to keep an area specifically designated for the mess I know will be coming.

So, there we are, sitting at the kitchen table – rolling out wads of Doh – mashing it…and yes…mixing it – I always hated Play-Doh commercials – they make the things look so simple – they have colors on top of colors, making perfect looking hamburgers, perfect looking ice-cream cones…perfect looking everything.  I knew if I tried to make a proper looking ice-cream cone, the yellow would mix in with the brown, the white would mix in with the pink, etc.  It never came out that way –

did it matter to Caitie??? 
she proceeds to mix the brown with the red, the white with the yellow, and the green with the brown – we’ve got lumps of Blah-Doh as she continues to roll and mash!
I couldn’t help but watch in amazement as her face is just riddled with joy and excitement – all the while I’m continually picking pieces of Doh out of the noddle-making traps, the stencils, and of course…the kitchen table.

“You don’t care if your messy, do you?” I asked her as she moved her work from the table to the chair in which she sat – all-the-while getting bits of Play-Doh in her hair, on her clothes, and on my mom’s nice seat cushions…
“You like being messing, don’t you?”

“I just like to have fun,” she laughed.  “And you like to clean…”

I just got schooled….

Chris Tomlin ‘ I Will Rise’

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more about “Chris Tomlin ‘ I Will Rise’“, posted with vodpod

 

Conversations on paper

I have made mistakes and I have been afraid – I have felt alone – Then you called my name – Things were crashing loudly – Happening all around me -But you´re still small voice Was all that I could hear – I am here – I´m holding you – You´ll make it through this – I am here I am here – Whenever you run away – whenever you lose you´re faith – It´s just another stroke of the pen on the page -A lonely ray of hope is all that you need to see a beautiful history – Well I have been such a fool when I have known the truth – I´ve wasted so much time Doing what I want to do -I´ve been living solely for myself and myself only – but your still small voice is whispering -Whenever you run away – whenever you lose you´re faith – It´s just another stroke of the pen on the page – A lonely ray of hope is all that you need to see a beautiful history – I toss and turn and scream – I try to do everything with two feet on the ground – I just keep falling down again – I feel so far from home -Completely on my own – and then I hear you say – I am here I am here – Whenever you run away – whenever you lose you´re faith – It´s just another stroke of the pen on the page – A lonely ray of hope is all that you need to see
a beautiful history

It’s a scary thought – willfully giving EVERYTHING over to be used by God. This past weekend I heard Donald Miller speak about ideas presented in his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years and it seems it’s taken me this long to really process it all. But one thing he really talked about – apart from living a story worthy of the One who wrote us into being – was about really working on a relationship with God – and not just a static realtionship, but one where we carry on conversation, where we invite God into our lives to actively participate.

I have to agree with Don – if we’re waiting for God to step in and dictate every action – we’re going to be waiting a while. Our relationship with God is more of a suggestion than a dictation… I guess.

In all of this – it got me thinking about how I’ve been waiting on God for a year now… I’ve been waiting for God to put me in a job, to tell me where He wants me to go…and obviously it’s not working out!
I’ve been passive – waiting for the push in the right direction.

One part of Don’s “sermon” that really hit me – the conversation with God idea – it’s not new to me. I remember Jim Burgen preaching the same concept/idea at 608 services when I was in college – the whole idea of inviting God into our daily lives.
But the idea that God wants us to be happy – that God created us to desire companionship – that God created us WITH DESIRES…
He talked about the “job hunt” in a way – making it sound more like God asking us…”well, what do you like???” “Where do YOU want to go??”

The idea that as long as I bring God glory is all well and good – but how much glory can you bring God from the living room sofa??

I don’t think I’m making myself very clear – I’ve got all of this stuff in my head…and I can’t seem to get it out – it’s a little frustrating. But, I have this feeling – that maybe I should be a little more proactive in my search for God’s purpose in my life – or maybe I mean My Purpose in God’s story….

Sitting at the jewelry store isn’t really something I desire…and I feel like God’s waiting for me to do something…
I feel like…maybe God’s sitting back…waiting for me to get a clue….
I don’t know

I’m sitting here not knowing what to do – wanting to know what God wants me to do – and the whole time God’s asking me what do YOU want to do. He’s put passions in my heart – desires for creativity, for music, for writing, for reading, for relational ministry, for mission work, for outreach…
and i have all these things i’d love to do – but I’m scared.
I have thoughts and dreams…and I feel like I’m waiting for God to do something so I can do something…but it doesn’t seem to be working out. I want to go places, I want to meet new people, I want to travel, I want to learn to play music, to be someone I used to be and never really was…all at the same time.
I want God to direct me…
but maybe I’m waiting for something that isn’t going to come.

I’ve played with ideas – grad school (seminary, MFA programs…), local part-time jobs, local full-time jobs…none of it seems right. My desires…my wants don’t fit –
I had an idea – something kinda huge – something I’m too afraid to put out in writing – to vocalize – because…if I do it’ll make it real…it’ll make it something that may have to get done…and I may have to do it. And maybe God has given me the idea because I’m the only one who can do it – or I know the people who can help me do it…but if it’s even a real option to consider…it’s frightening. And as much as I want to feel like Lucy Pevensie in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (I think I can be brave enough!)I feel more like Lucy in Prince Caspian (I wish I was braver!)

Saturday night, after Donald spoke, the worship team came out and sang a song – it’s that song that I’ve posted above and below – “Beautiful History” by Plumb. It spoke volumes to me that night – and tonight as I heard it in the car driving home. It just seems to hit me where I am right now – that scared – wanna be brave – don’t know where to begin – kinda place… That place between know where I need to go but not knowing how to get there – that place between feeling alone, but knowing that I’m never alone…that place where living a story means having to write one, but not having the words to describe it

Stress-free Living

I feel like writing…something…anything…
I’ve been sitting at the computer today, looking at cabins in Gatlinburg – not really because I have a huge desire to go to Gatlinburg, but because my grandfather has decided to take the whole family on a vacation this summer. Doesn’t really seem like a vacation to me – but they think it’ll be the last time our whole family can get together …

A vacation is something that takes you AWAY from stress, to a place that doesn’t remind of you home…not something that CAUSES stress
A cramped cabin with 20+ people isn’t my idea of fun – maybe it used to be…when we all had something more than blood-line in common.

I don’t know – it seems to be causing more stress than anything – trying to coordinate schedules for that many people is really a nightmare. I don’t know what my job situation will be this summer – so I can’t really say with certainity that I can or cannot go.

It’s not that I don’t love Gatlinburg…and it’s not that i don’t love my family…there’s just a lot of stress that comes with my family. I guess it’s the same for most families. It’s just that I’m around it ALL THE TIME and I’d really like a vacation to get away from it –
I mean, I keep waiting for a job to get me away from it…just seems backwards to me.

In all actuality I’d prefer a week at the beach with my immediate family to a long weekend in the mountains with everyone. Looking at cottages in Atlantic Beach, NC has me nostalgic for the Outer Banks and the way vacations used to be with my family – when I felt comfortable with my family.
Reading Nicholas Sparks novels doesn’t help the situation either –

That’s another thing…I’ve never read a book that uses the setting as well as Sparks does. The setting is practically a character in his book! It’s amazing how sensory his novels are – at least it’s that way with “The Last Song”
– what I wouldn’t give for a job in North Carolina – for a view of the ocean, for a cottage on the beach…
talk about stress-free living!!

what are we doing to be Christ?

I miss church…I really do. I really have no excuse for being absent as long as I have been – laziness, fatigue…I guess it all plays a factor.

Not long ago I had a chat with a good friend about the seemingly-downward trend of the Church. We hear gossip within the walls, we feel cold, we feel….nothing. We see the church not reaching out as it should, but rather focusing inward.

I say “we” because over the last year or so, I’ve noticed the same trends. It’s disheartening…and rather enough to keep me home on a Sunday morning and listen to worship music and podcasts on iTunes. While I don’t get the “family” effect at home, I do get the teaching and worship aspects – and in many ways, I get more out of that…and I GIVE more that way, too.

I want to feel at home at church – at what used to be MY church – but I don’t. I haven’t for a long time, now. And, other than finding a new church, I’m not sure what to do about it.
I keep waiting for a job to get me back into the groove – but I’m not so sure that’s really the answer.

I want to see a church that reaches out to the community – intentionally tries to make a difference in the neighborhood. I’m not seeing it, and that’s the problem.
What I do see is a church focused inward, on self-improvement, on the people currently in attendance. And while it’s necessary to remain focused inward – it can’t be the only focus. That’s not what church IS –
A church isn’t JUST the people in attendance on a Sunday morning!

The church needs a new kitchen – a new stove – to bring it up to code. Sure, safety is an issue, but what other benefits come from updating the appliances? Better potlucks, more successful fundraisers for the youth group?
What about providing a community meal once a week to reach out – and not just a meal where donations are accepted, where there’s a Bible study following…but a meal with no strings attached…just a service of love and friendship. What about putting that new stove to some good use??

When the earth shook in Haiti, people reached out – jumped into action. The world showed compassion for a country that couldn’t afford to help itself. I had made the comment to a friend – it was great to see the Church being the Church.
I wish it was something we could see everyday.

But is the Church ONLY being the Church when they reach out to third and fourth-world countries? What about the neighbor down the street that can’t afford to buy groceries this week? Or the couple across the street that just lost a child?
What is the Church doing for them?