Ephesians 2

…by grace you have been saved….
…by grace you have been saved through faith….

he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near. For through Him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God.

I kind of wonder why Paul amended that first thought. Why just a few phrases later he adds the final clause…”through faith” –
God’s grace is available to all – it’s saving Grace…Jesus’ act on the cross saved EVERYONE…
but are you truly saved until you believe? are you not saved until you have that faith in God’s actions??

Just as I sat down to look at this chapter I had a thought run through my head. I found myself asking, why…if God is so accessible, so near all the time…why, more often than not, do I feel so distant…why does God seem absent???
and then I read this passage about equal access to God the Father through God the Spirit…and I’m wondering if this answers my question.
I remember at the first church camp I ever worked at, there was a carved piece of wood just over the door into the kitchen… I don’t remember the exact words, but it pretty much summed up the idea…if God feels far away…it’s not because He moved…

So, what do I have to do to feel closer to God??
I go to church…fairly regularly (granted since I’ve been out of full-time ministry it hasn’t been an every week ordeal for me…)
I maintain an attitude of worship and/or prayer fairly consistently…
I admit, my daily Bible reading is a little sparse…okay…up until last week I didn’t have a set routine at all…

As I’m sending out resumes to churches, looking for work…I keep reminding myself of the things I’ve talked about with advisers and mentors over the past year.
One thing that has been hammered into my head is making it a daily habit of spending some time in quiet, with God – one-on-one. It not only offers me time for myself to think and grow as a Christian…but will help keep my head in the game…
So, that’s what I’m working on.

I’m not sure why I chose Ephesians as the book to get me back in the game…
and honestly…I kind of feel like reading the Bible is almost like a good luck charm or something…superstitious or something…thinking, if I do this…maybe I’ll get a job – like if my minds right…things will fall into place.
And – I have to pull myself back…because…God’s NOT a good luck charm.
The cross I wear around my neck is not a rabbit’s foot to be rubbed…it’s not a four-leaf clover…

It’s a symbol of the Truth I hold onto…the fact that God’s love trumps everything in my life…

So…where does this leave me…

I want my relationship with God to feel real. I want my relationship to be more than just the hour a week I spend at church, or the two hour commute in my car listening to worship music…
I want to FEEL something…
I remember writing a blog a couple years ago about the feeling I used to get on Easter morning…a feeling that everything is different because of what Jesus did on the cross….
and the feeling I’d get at Christmas…a childish sense that everything is perfect…special…and new
It’s been a while since I’ve had that feeling…that shiver up my spine…that childish sense of wonder and awe…
I want to regain that feeling…that feeling of Easter and Christmas morning…that the world’s new…the world’s different…special somehow…

It’s been too long!

Thanksgiving and Prayer

Ephesians 1: 15-22
For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.

There’s something completely ungraspable about this concept – God – with immeasurble greatness, has given believers a glorious inheritance (the Holy Spirit and the promise of eternity)…and all this is given in Jesus Christ – the One far above all earthly powers and rulers –

and it’s ours…simply be believing and accepting it as truth…

um….WOW!

Paul’s got a way with words, too….by the way.

Ephesians 1:1-14

Paul’s probably one of my favorite writers of the New Testament – maybe it’s the way he just lets it all hang out – just tells it like it is!
I’m thinking more Christians today need to adopt Paul’s way of doing things – regarding lifestyle and theology (and ways of expressing views/beliefs)

I particularly love how Paul opens his letters – especially in Ephesians – as he blesses the reader (in this case the church of Ephesus) – but also realizing that this blessing stretches so much further than to the addressed church.
Paul’s words stretching to the Church Universal – reminding believers to whom they really belong – reminding the reader that – by simply reading the word and believing – we’ve been signed, sealed, and delivered to the Father!

In Him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

I recently purchased an ESV study Bible – and this is what it says about verse 13 (the italicized portion)
“Sealed can mean either that the Holy Spirit protects and preserves Christians until they reach their inheritance (Eph 4:30; 2 Cor 1:22; 1 Peter 1:5; Rev 7: 2-3) or that he ‘certifies’ the authenticity of their acceptance by God as being genuine – they bear the ‘royal seal’ (John 3:33; Acts 10:44, 47)”

I love the idea of a royal seal – given specifically by God – we’re marked as His – as belonging specifically to God the Father – and we can’t be touched!
Now, I don’t think…I KNOW that doesn’t mean there won’t be times of trial…there won’t be hard times…that Satan won’t just step back and be hands off –
maybe it means – Satan just attacks harder – maybe it means we’re more prone to attack because of who we’re fighting for…
i don’t know…

Paul doesn’t say we’re immune because of our “mark” – he does say it’s a sign of the promise we’re given for eternity – of our inheritance in the Kingdom – this seal…this “royal seal” is what guarantees us that inheritance – without it we get nothing…

I think it’s interesting that this seal…this mark…isn’t really a mark…but is the Holy Spirit – as promised by Jesus before he ascended…the Holy Spirit – the third entity of the trinity…the Comforter…
Jesus promised He’d not leave us alone – knowing Satan still prowled the earth – no way He’d leave us alone…

sometimes it’s hard to believe…it’s not a surprising statement I don’t think.
Just on Sunday I was remembering a children’s message I heard when I was a kid…our preacher talked about the wind – you can’t see it, but you can feel it…you know when the wind is blowing because you see the trees moving…
God’s the same way – you can’t see him…but you can feel Him…you can see His effects on the world…just like the wind.
When the wind blows we can know God is working, too.

I couldn’t have been any older than 8 years old when I heard this message – and 20 years later it still sticks with me…
I guess maybe it’s because it’s the first thing I could really hold on to as a promise that God was there…

The Holy Spirit – my wind in the trees – works without being seen…I can feel when the Holy Spirit moves…I can see the effects of the Holy Spirit’s work…
and the fact that this magnificent thing was promised so long ago…and is still working today…
it’s incredible…
I can’t wrap my mind around it…
but I feel my heart swelling with the overwhelming magnitude of it all.

Through the Motions

The Motions
Matthew West

This might hurt, it’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care if I break,
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,”What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?”

No regrets, not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something
‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

‘Cause I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,”What if I had given everything instead of going through the motions?”

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (’cause I don’t wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I’m finally feeling something real)
take me all the way

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,”What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?”

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,”What if I had given everything,instead of going through the motions?”

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go)
take me all the way (through the motions)
take me all the way

I don’t wanna go through the motions

I heard about this kid who posted Matthew West’s lyrics on his facebook as a daily reminder to live a life of meaning – to not just go through the motions of a Christian life – but to be intentional about the actions he takes, to find meaning and purpose in it all – and to put his whole heart into it.

Several years ago, as I worked a summer at camp, I had to make this my prayer every day – not to go through the motions as a staff member – not to just push for the weekend, but to make each day worthwhile – to be a living example to the campers I worked with…

The same thing popped up a couple years ago as I worked in full-time ministry – the struggle to make my ministry a real tool for Christ, to make my life a shining example of Christ’s love – to worship God to the fullest…

so many times in ministry (and even in my walk with Christ in general) I find myself just walking through it all…not really putting the effort into it that I need to. I don’t read my Bible – and when I do it’s a chore…
I don’t spend quality time in quiet – away from noise, away from distraction
I worry about _____________

I kind of had a pivotal moment last week…a point in my life (as of late) where I decided to really let God take control of the things I was thinking and doing…
especially when it comes to the job hunt.
I had e-mailed my former senior pastor and spilled the confusion of my heart – basically some stuff about not feeling fulfilled in a menial job (at least assuming I wouldn’t feel fulfilled simply because I know there’s more to life than working for a paycheck)- about concerns with continuing in full-time ministry (repeating past mistakes)- about really just deciding to step out in faith and wait for God to open a door…

I guess now it’s time to follow up on that moment and put more of my faith into action!
It’s time to take everything in my heart, time to take all the things I so boldly proclaim to be true and right – and put them into action in my own life.

These lyrics are worth holding onto – are worth claiming as my own prayer for a life of meaning…a life of full personal, one-on-one experiences with the Creator!

Attachment disorder

I waiting for a document to attach to my e-mail…
it’s taking forever, and I can’t help but wonder what kind of lesson I can pull from this. Not sure there’s actually a LESSON to be pulled from attaching a document – especially a document highlighting a restaurant that no longer exists – place is just a parking lot now.

Although it makes me think about my grandfather –
it was his bright idea to feature historic places around Cynthiana in the free monthly/bi-montly catalog of businesses offered in town. Of course, I’m the one writing it up – making sense out of my grandfather’s illegible handwriting and wondering if he really has all his facts – and well, let’s face it – memories in order.
The man is 87 – sharp as a tac most days – still driving my mom (and everyone else) crazy with his never say die attitude with the family business (don’t even get me started on that).
(Five minutes later…still waiting for the attachment to take hold)…

Anyway – my less-than-200-word feature article features the Lemonette Restaurant (something I imagine to be like the diner in Pleasantville or Back to the Future) – kids in their poodle skirts coming in on a Friday night ordering burgers and a cherry coke – dancing to whatever song is playing on the juke box – greasers greasing their hair, hitting the pinball machine a little too hard (ignoring the warnings of the fountain attendant to keep their hands off the glass)…
(still attaching)
Makes me nostalgic for the days I never knew…or at least makes me want to watch Pleasantville (or at least an episode of Leave it to Beaver or something).

Kids these days…they don’t know what they’re missin’.
(I’m giving up on the attachment)

true calling

Did a lot of thinking today – mostly about where I’m headed.
For months I’ve been thinking I’m not meant for full-time church ministry – yet it’s exactly to full-time church ministry that I feel myself drawn.
I’ve sent out my first serious inquiry into a job in South Carolina. It’s an associate position for high school ministry – which is exciting and intriguing.

See, all this time I’ve been thinking about full-time writing – writing for a magazine, or as of late, developing curriculum (Bible studies for youth ministry). And I get so excited thinking about writing – I get so excited thinking about what I want to do in developing curriculum based off Christian music…but I don’t even know where to begin.
So – what’s keeping me back from ministry? It’s where all my skills lie – it’s a passion I have – it’s something I know (or think) I’m good at doing –
so what’s keeping me from doing it while pursuing the writing thing?

I e-mailed my former senior pastor tonight, and spilled all of this out (word vomit) and in the process talked myself into it…or made myself see a bit more clearly (of God just clarified things for me)…. and so… I’m officially on the hunt again – looking for the right ministry fit for me – a place where I can be the most used – and still grow in my faith!

I think mostly – as far as ministry is concerned my concerns (or fears) lie in the idea of true calling (which I have no doubt ministry is my calling). I’m worred, I guess, that I’ll lose heart, that I’ll fall into the ruts I fell into last time…
So, I guess it’s all an intentional thing – making sure I maintain habits that are healthy for me physically, socially, and spiritually…
this time around, I know what to do – know the steps I need to take to make sure I’m at my best, so I can best minister to the teens with whom I work.

There’s a peace I feel in this – a feeling of assurance –
it’s the feeling I LOVE – in knowing I’m within God’s will!